What the Horizon?
by Thanako
Summary: A comedic take on Sound Horizon that is in a style unlike my usual. The emphasis is on comedy, this can not be stressed enough.


This story is not meant to be taken seriously. Please keep that in mind.

Chapter 0

The scene opens up to a classroom of sorts. There is a board and desk to the front, and many smaller desks designed for invidiuals lining the room, not unlike any average classroom. Several people are sitting at assorted desks, most of whom seemed to be very bored. At the front of the class was a woman with brown hair and an odd getup. She was trying in vain to teach the others.

Picomari: If you look closely at this chart, you will notice a rapid increase in...

Shaytan: Actually, you'll find that the chart is upside down...

Picomari: Ah, how embarassing... You're right.

Picomari quickly erased the chart, and drew it again in rapid succession so that it would be facing sideways. She did not notice Shaytan snickering.

Picomari: So, as I was saying before, there's a rapid sideways progression in the amount of transfer students since that event regarding the sunglasses...

Violette: Sometimes I wonder... Is she just toying with us...?

Hortense: ...I don't know, either

Hiver: Oh, don't be like that you two! She's a great teacher!

Eien no Shounen: Hey, teach! Maybe we should keep rotating the graph until we get satisfactory results!

Layla: Thank you for doing this, Shay.

Layla was relieved. She had asked Shaytan before class to cause enough disruptance that their absent minded teacher Picomari would forget all about their test that she didn't study for. This sort of distraction would usually go on for the entire class period.

It is in that moment that Thanako walked through the class door, 22 minutes late for class. She seemed rather out of breath.

Thanako: I'm sorry that I'm late... I was too busy studying for the test that I'd completely lost track of the time...

Suddenly, a fire lit in Picomari's eyes. She had stopped drawing and re-drawing the chart in assorted positions to address the late arrival, and she also noticed her comment.

Picomari: Thanako?

Thanako: Yes, ma'am?

Picomari: I had almost gotten distracted... It is wrong that you were late, but I thank you. You can hand out the tests!

Layla's smile suddenly dropped into a frown. Shaytan had taken notice, and was glaring at Thanako. He whispered under his breath.

Shaytan: ...fucking Malebranche.

Thanako seemed to hear what he'd said, and she returned his glare before shaking her head, signalling for him to stop. Both Violette and Hortense, twins, rose from their chairs to stand next to her. They returned the glare to Shaytan, which Layla noticed.

Layla: Miss Picomari, please... They're disrupting class.

Violette: You misunderstand, Layla. We are helping our dear friend Thanako.

Hortense: That's right. Teamwork will get this done with passing out the tests sooner. Those of us who actually studied have been eager to take this.

Shaytan stood from his seat and smacked his hand on the table.

Shaytan: Do you want to go? I don't care that you're a girl, you won't get away with messing with Layla.

While they were having their dispute, Thanako had just finshed passing out the tests alone, with nobody really having noticed her moving at all.

Thanako: There's no need to esclate things... Let's all just calm down and take our test...

Picomari let out a sigh, before grabbing an hourglass. When she tipped it, the test would begin. When the sands ran out, their time was up. They would be graded on an as-is basis, regardless of if they'd finished or not.

Picomari: I have the idea that we should have your peers grade your tests this time.

Hiver: Oh, that sounds delightful.

Thanako: I agree

Violette: Me as well.

Hortense: I think we have a majority.

Layla: Are you serious? Malebranche here is a cheat!

Thanako: EXCUSE M-

The door suddenly opens again. A hooded figure enters the room, their identity concealed. The figure holds a staff and walks forward to the center of the room in dead silence. Only after standing in the center does the figure talk, with a masculine voice.

? Greetings to you, students. You do not know who I am but I damned sure know who you ar-

Thanako: ...Noah?

Noah: ...Shit, Thanako? But you're on the side of the Black Or-

Thanako: -E LAYLA? DIDN'T I TELL YOU NOT TO CALL ME BY THAT NAME?

Layla: Are you trying to start something, 'Thanako'?

Shaytan: ...That would be ill-advised, little girl.

Thanako: Golly gee, you think you're a bunch of badasses, aren't you?

Violette & Hortense: How cute.

Layla: After class, we'll settle this.

Noah: Hey! I'm still here! Do not ignore me!

Thanako: You, me? After class? How cute. Most people don't know when Thanatos will come for them.

Shaytan: No. We will do this right here, right now.

Everyone in the class fell silent. Noah was just sitting in shock. A student quarrel was taking more attention than him?

Noah: Look, I understand the harsh feelings of youth, but really I'm trying to-

Thanako: It's your challenge, name your game.

Shaytan & Layla: GROUP DANCE OFF!

Hiver: What a wonderful turn of events!

Thanako, Violette and Hortense dance as if they are dolls, in perfect unison. Shaytan and Layla break out into breakdancing.

Hiver: Wait a minute... Who's the judge?

Eien no Shounen: What does it matter, Hivvy? They're really bad.

Noah: SILENCE!

Layla: Hey asshole, what's your problem? You interrupt our class, and now you interrupt the sacred rite of dueling... Stop wasting our time and leave.

Noah is taken back by the lack of concern that Layla showed, and became a bit disheartened to see Shaytan's evil glare in his direction.

Noah: ...I'll make it quick

Shaytan: You get 10 seconds.

Noah: Oh, come on!

Shaytan: Six seconds...

Noah: I've set the school into a lockdow-

Shaytan: I've heard enough.

Noah: But I haven't finished-

Shaytan: Nobody cares. We've broken out of this shithole before. Locking the doors won't stop us.

Thanako: Wait... I get the distinct feeling that we've forgotten something...

Eien no Shounen giggled in the distance as everyone paused for a moment to think.

Hiver: Did you do anything with Miss Picomari... Err... I didn't catch your name, sir.

Noah: It's Noah.

Violette: I haven't noticed that she left at all.

Hortense: Well, looks like Noah speaks the truth... She's not here.

Noah: Look, I didn't do anything to your teacher. I don't know the first thing about her.

The hourglass sands all fell from the top to the bottom, and Picomari re-entered the room.

Picomari: Pencils down, everyone! Your test is over!

A collective gasp erupted from the room.

Eien no Shounen: I finished my test, Miss.

Hiver: Me, too!

Picomari: Ah, the positive energy makes me happy! What about the rest of you?

Silence fell the class as even Noah facepalmed. Picomari's smile vanished for the first time all day.

Picomari: ...did none of you do the test?

Thanako: I can explain, Layla ha-

Picomari: I don't want to hear it, miss Thanako.

Violette: I promise Layla was-

Picomari: No excuses!

Hortense: But...

Picomari: Stop.

Noah: ...what did I get myself into

Picomari: I looked around the school, and it seems that we are all locked in. Those of you who actually did your tests are allowed to go to the cafeteria and pick out something nice, and meet with some of the other students... As for the rest of you... You will stay in here and take your test.

Noah: You don't get it? It was I who-

Picomari: Ah, the janitor! Sorry for being so absent minded! I will take you to where one of the younger kids vomitted. Something about too much pumpkin, or something... Come with me.

Before Noah could protest, he was being carried off by Picomari.

End of Chapter 0.


End file.
